I think no one comes here much anymore but I just like to talk to myself.

I'm sick. Sucks.
Just when the exams are gonna be over...
And just when Jay concert is tomorrow...
With me sick and half-dead, how can I show him my immense passion?

Tomorrow's last paper.
Should be cramming hard now but just can't get myself together.
My medication is making me drowsy...

Whirl, twirl, curl... O_o

Dunno why but just in the mood for massive blogging.

Teehee anyway I just discovered I forgot to brush my teeth this morning.
Gross right?
I actually forgot. Well, I did remember to bathe though but I somehow missed out on the cleaning of my set of dentures.
Don't think anyone found out anyway, not Mum who's got a very sharp nose.

And my poor molars are suffering. I have CAVITIES.
Come to think of it, it's been eons since I last visited a dentist.
Maybe 2-3 years?
And with regards to the amount of chocolate I've been stuffing myself with to tide over this bad exam season, it's no wonder the molars are degenerating.
Do they provide dental consultation at NUS? Hehe, if have it's much cheaper...

I think I've grown fat and I have an acne breakout.
Exams really turn me into a haggard panda.
Yeah my eye bags are so humongous you can't miss it even 100 metres away.
And sitting down the whole day on my filthy old chair probably has translated all the fats to that area.

I HATE:
- my big butt
- my big boobs
- my thick hips
- my fat limbs

Shouldn't be bitching at this time.
Gotta resume my studying.

2 more to go...

Can't believe I actually suffered from a breakdown.
I promised myself last year that I would never want to feel that way again but yet it happened.
But it's funny how I feel nonchalent during and after the exam compared to before the exam.
The real mental stress always gets to me before the paper and that usually affects me quite a bit.

It's really traumatic when you have an exam less than 4 hours away and you don't understand half of what's written in the lecture notes.
And those studying in NUS, never in your life should you even think of taking MA1505C module.

Trust me on that.

Really tired. Didn't sleep yesterday and was like a walking corpse in school.
You should have heard the gibberish I was talking about.
Should be starting on my stats but am so tired I can't think properly.

And on a happy note, Jay's in Singapore already! *gleams*
I can't believe he's probably just a few kilometres away from me... I can almost feel his presence.

JAY! He appeared on the evening news today.
And he's forever wearing his fave colour PINK.
I'm gonna bring pink lightsticks to his concert in support for him. :)

48 hours more to Jay concert.
Which also means my freedom.

Another entry.
I shouldn't be doing this but I just can't keep my hands off the laptop once it's switched on. *smacks myself*

I keep telling myself I deserve one hell of a break, because the past 4 days I've been...
[+] almost 24/7 hitting the books
[+] sleeping like 3-4 hrs a day
[+] battling with my slacker attitude
[+] almost suffered from anxiety attacks for I-dunno-how-many times.

Yeah, hehe 4 DAYS man.
It is quite a big deal to me.

And it takes this one day break to make me tumble, yet again.
*Roar*
I am being lazy again. I can't focus again.
Why is my self-discipline so short lived?

I forgot to mention this utterly disgusting thing.
During my puke-licious organic chem yesterday, there were actually people who finished the paper and left more than half an hour before the exam.
And WTF, there were more than 10 of them.
Wondering why I noticed when I should be so busy doing my questions?
That's because I had too much free time, i.e. I had no idea how to do like 85% of the paper and the staggering quantity of them was too hard to be left unnoticed.

Now THAT was such a hard blow to my already-quite-puny ego, not to mention it adds to the mentality of me being such a stupid ass.
There are people out there that can finish the paper so fast while morons like me don't even know the answer to half the questions.
And that kinda confirms the fact that I probably have 90% of being in the utmost bottom of the curve, thus belonging in the 'Fail' category.

Those people, grrr...
They probably can't wait to get out the exam halls, scramble back to put on their nerdy spectacles and continue mugging so they can show how much of a genius they are at the next exam.

I hate them. Period.

2 down, 3 more to go.

I dunno if I should be happy or sad.
Happy because Chem's over, for now.
Sad because I have a probability of about 90% that I might fail, which means my CAP will be atrocious and I have to retake it next semester.

Shalln't think about it now.
Better go study soon... *glurps*

Really need to blog to release my pent up feelings.

I dunno what's the problem with me.

If I were to tell my friends, esp those in Uni, that I have yet to study a single thing in my damn pile of notes even though my exams are 2 days away, NOBOBY would believe me.
They would say, "I'm sure you started a little right?" or "Don't bluff lah."
I like to lie about my feelings, my secrets but I do not lie about school work.
Like what good would it do? Make myself feel like a genius when I'm about to fail?

How come nobody wants to believe?
Just because you guys are not like that doesn't mean that I'm like you.
I can tell you this: I Hate University Life.
Notice that I don't say studying because I will even like it if I'm pursuing something I like.

And why don't I study something I like then?
Sometimes, choices are not laid out for everyone. Sometimes, one has to decide not to be selfish. That is why.

And you know, having to muster the correct mentality to start studying is truly a very hard ordeal.
Yeah I took 12 days to conjure up a half-hearted studying attitude.

With what time I have left, I'll just sprint ahead.
Hopefully that is sufficient to scrape through and allow me to continue on to the next semester.

Awaiting 27 Nov...


PS: Hmmm the layout totally spoils for this entry's mood.

Really dead this time.
I haven't started studying and still doing crap.
Can someone motivate me?

Am dead tired now.
Jane stayed the night at my place and we didn't sleep until this morning.
Was supposed to be doing work but we strayed big time.

The atrocities we did:
[+]The most hilarious result of our KTV session
[+]Drew crap. Will upload the picture next time.

Tell us how we fared in our singer-wannabe KTV audio clip.

I always feel so inferior when I look at graphic websites.
Those webmasters/mistresses are younger than me and they can do such good web design.
And me? I leech on others' templates and modify them.

Why didn't God bestow on me the ability to draw? Or even the creativity genes?

Ok, it's the ungodly hour *gasp4am!gasp* and I'm still doing crap.
And yeah I forgot to ask God why didn't he give me self-discipline too.
Including today, I have officially 10 whole study days to finish mastering 5 whole modules.
Am I Super Woman or what?

Anyway if you guys are wondering what my imood indicator means, I'm sorry but I have no idea myself.

poop (EXCREMENT)
noun [U] MAINLY US INFORMAL
excrement, especially dogs' excrement on the ground in public places

poop (TIRED)
verb US INFORMAL
be pooped to be very tired

poop (STERN OF A SHIP)
1 obsolete : STERN
2 : an enclosed superstructure at the stern of a ship above the main deck

I completely misintepreted the meaning when I chose it.
When I first saw the word, POO immediately came into my mind.
So I thought POOped meant shitty.

Wahaha the wonders of languages.

Procrastination.
Procrastination.
Procrastination.

P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N

This thing always beats me down.
Anyone's got a remedy to overcome it?
It's URGENT.

I've made a new blog skin. (Duh, you guys can see it right?)
First time with a bright background.
I know it's the exams now and my mood definitely doesn't reflect such a cheery theme, but I just felt RETRO.
Must be all that influence from dearie JAY and Bleach anime. :love:
Give me your comments ok?

Decided to post something so my blog wouldn't be stuck with that dreary "I hate Chem Test" entry.

This weekend will be my break.
Next week onwards, I'm gonna start mugging.
Surprised? The usually super slack me (aka Slacker Ang courtesy of Serene) has decided to be a good girl for once.
I do hope it eventually happened though. *crosses fingers*

Bush reigns supreme for yet another 4 years.
I don't support him due to his anti-iraq movement and he just irks me somehow.
I don't really know Kerry so I don't support him too. I just want Bush off the
presidency seat for now. Guess the americans don't feel the same way.

I came across this song recently, by chance.
Really nice song. And don't worry, it's not Jay again.
Give it a download here: Bonnie Pink - Last Kiss

And speaking of mp3s, I really want this.

iRiver iFP-790

Sighs, never could afford that with the pathetic sum of money in my bank account.

I have a chem test in about 12 hours time.

And guess what?

I've only studied like 3 out of 8 chapters.
Hooray.

And you know what?

I freaking hell don't care.