in the midst of my essay.
taking a short break to rest my brains.
but hallelujiah, i think i can finish it in time.

just can't wait for holidays to arrive.
but isn't it ironic how this always happens?
it's like a vicious cycle.
3 months study, holiday, 3 months study, holiday...
to obtain my degree, i need to repeat it for 6 times.
but from another POV, i'm already in year 2.
before i know it, i'm out of school.
and stepping into the frontiers of the working world.
a place i'm absolutely dreading.

then what is there to complain about now?
dang. i'm full of contradictions.

so happy to meet up with my jc mates.
all because our dear alex is going taiwan.
see how precious you are to us, lex.
spent a bomb at billy bombers.
but the company was really good.
laughing at the little things.
which makes me miss jc days even though it was hell.

but after the bliss,
comes the gloom.

i'm in serious shit.
my brains are so burned from recent weeks.
no mood to do any work at all.
much less write a 2000-word essay due on monday.

seriously pissed.
jay's entire album got leaked online, save for one song.
the assholes think that by buying his album, they have the right to download.
what a whole load of bullshit.
putting the idea of piracy aside,
learn to respect the hard work of a composer singer and his crew.
don't give me that "i'm the consumer, i'm always right" crap.
you're just a self-centred shithead.

holed up in the reference library today.
the security guard even had to drive me out, ha.

been bogged down by work lately.
so much that i've lost track of time.
only by looking at the wall calender did i realise it was friday already.

with time flying past like that,
i can't help but feel lost.
lost with the flow of time.
lost about the future.

the few shows i watched recently had recurring themes about the future.
3 different people with 3 different problems.

#1 with no goal in life.
didn't need to because he could get anything he wanted.
#2 wondering what she's doing is right.
because she always goes with the flow.
#3 without a direction.
feeling apprehensive and frightened about the future.

it struck me deeply because i'm also doubtful of my future.
i'm more like the unoriented #3.
however the fear gradually made me became like #2.

but there is a difference between me and them.
they managed to solve their problems in the end.

#1 met someone who gave him a goal and a heart to love.
#2 met a group who changed her outlook of life.
#3 went on a journey and found some answers.

will there be that someone/group/journey for me too?
somewhere out there in the big big world?

rainy season.
there goes my swimming.

was happy to sit beside my eye candy during lecture yesterday.
though i acted like it was nothing. hohoho.

i think i have a penchant for tall guys.
even the tv stars i like are so freaking tall (at least 1.75m).
what's with me? it's not like i'm very tall anyways.

extremely happy today.
because of the 10 hour sleep.
got interested in sudoku lately.
but i suck at it. i take ages to solve one.
sudoku makes really great inflight entertainment.

getting a haircut later.
i always feel that haircuts are so therapeutic.
maybe that's why most people cut their hair after a breakup.

looking out of place at my cluttered desk.



my yellow sunshine.
i love sunflowers :)

i wonder what's everyone up to lately.

i'd presume that everyone would be very busy.
so imagine my surprise when jun replied "you never ask me out mah".

ages since i went out to relax.
the last time i ventured into a shopping mall was to pre-order jay's album.
or else it's just rushing deadlines and watching random animes/taiwanese dramas.
i am so boring now.

i'd grow fungus if i stay home any longer.
*coughaskmeoutcough*

anyway i'm watching [惡作劇之吻]/It Started With A Kiss now.
starring Joe Zheng Yuan Chang and Ariel Lin Yi Cheng.


the plot's better than devil beside you, IMO.
well since the original japanese drama was really good, to begin with.
now i finally understand why jane, ser & carrie like Joe.
he's quite a charming one. ^^

surprised at the new layout?

i'm surprised by myself too.
so short of time and still doing all these trivial things.
i can console myself by saying that i got so pissed with work yesterday that i gave up doing it altogether.
but truth be told, i just lack that motivation.

well, i'm most probably gonna stress myself silly after this.
just take it as somewhat of a retribution.

anyway about the new layout.
ooooh i so love the banner.
it's in conjunction with jay's new song "Nocturne".
my first at blending and css layout.
i'm very pleased with the results :)

this is not my usual practice.
and not what i like to see in other blogs too.
but well, jay rules.

夜曲 | Ye Qu | Nocturne

作词：方文山
Lyricist: Vincent Fang

作曲：周杰伦
Composer: Jay Chou

Translation: Hyde - www.jay-chou.net


一群嗜血的蚂蚁被腐肉所吸引
A crowd of bloodthirsty ants are drawn by rotting flesh
我面无表情看孤独的风景
I watch the lonely scenery with an expressionless face
失去你　爱开始分明
Having lost you, love begins to come clear
失去你　还有什么事好关心
Having lost you, is there anything left to care about
那鸽子不再象征和平
The dove doesn't represent peace any longer
我终于被提醒　捆着手我现在是奴隶
I've finally been reminded, with my hands bound, i am like a slave now
我用漂亮的押韵形容被掠夺一空的爱情
I use beautiful rhymes to describe a love that has been plundered empty

啊 我应该藏这里 夜色不干净
Ah, I ought to hide here, the color of the night is unclean
还给你整夜的回忆 占满天的星
Still [it] gives you a whole night's memories, the star take up the whole sky
送你的白色玫瑰 在纯黑的花季凋零
The white rose that [ I ] gave to you has withered in the blooming season of pure darkness
午夜在树枝上诡异的很安静　　
On branches, midnight hangs in a deceitful and strange silence
倾听 我黑色的大衣 像我的你
Listen closely, my black overcoat is like the you who belonged to me

衣栉比鳞的鬼 走过的走过的生命
Ghosts covered side by side like scales, a life that's been walked past, walked past
啊~四周弥漫雾气
Ah, fog fills the air on all four sides
啊~我在空旷的墓地
Ah, I am in an open cemetery
老去后还爱你
[ I will ] still love you after I've aged

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
[ I ] play for you Chopin's Nocturne
纪念我死去的爱情
To commemorate this desceased love of mine
跟夜风一样的声音
A sound just like a wind in the night
心碎的很好听
The heart breaks with such a beautiful sound
手在键盘敲钢琴
Hands at the keys, playin the piano
我给的思念太小心
The longing that I gave was too tentative
你埋葬的地方就有你
You are at the location at which you were buried

为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲
[ I ] play for you Chopin's Nocturne
纪念我死去的爱情
To commemorate this desceased love of mine
而我为你隐姓埋名
And for you I've become anonymous
在月光下弹琴
Playing the piano under the moonlight
对你心跳的感应
The response of your heartbeat
还是如此温热清晰
Is still so warm and clear
怀念你那鲜红的唇印
I remember the scarlet imprint of you lips

那些断翅的蜻蜓　散落在这森林
Those dragonflies who have lost their wings, are scattered in this forest
而我的眼睛　没有丝毫同情
And yet my eyes do not show a shred of sympathy
失去你　泪水混浊无情
Having lost you, my tears are murky and emotionless
失去你　我连笑容都有阴影
Having lost you, even my smile holds shadows
我站在满心期待的屋顶
I stand upon the rooftop with a heart full of anticipation
嘲笑我的伤心
Ridiculing my own sadness
像一口没有水的枯井
Like a waterless well
我用尽我的自信
I've exhausted all my self-confidence
要我后悔莫急等待爱情
Telling myself to, while deeply in regret, still await love

oh lordy.



this pic alone made my jaws dropped about 1 inch.

then this one...



my eyes almost popped out.

i'm gonna happily ogle and wait for my november chopin.
november the first is such a loooong time.

and HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beloved meijun :)

narcissism at play.
i know i know. but just let me whine about this.
i'm gonna be disfigured for life!
*whineswhineswhines.

Happy Birthday Chin.
don't choke on the 20 xiaolongbaos.
*coughchinisapigcough*

t'was the most embarassing encounter of my life.
well it was both embarassing and painful.

i fainted in the shower room of the swimming complex.
thank god mum went swimming with me.
and i managed to wake up and open the door in time before the lifeguards burst in.
goodness, imagine seeing me lying stark naked on the floor.
brrr... i wouldn't wanna go jalan besar to swim anymore.

so drama-rama right?
it was all my fault. because i didn't eat before i swim.
now i have this really ugly cut above my right eye.
i definitely learnt my lesson.

the vatican collection exhibition ended today!
shucks, i missed it.
and i didn't get to go see xiaomei today too.
*sighs

phews.
*heaves heavy sign of relief

essay done, finally.
with one load over, i'm off to the next one.
and when the clock struck 17:10 tomorrow, my heart will be breezier.

am really looking forward to the weekends.
this time with A LOT of anticipation.
to finally take a breather, excercise and see beloved xiao mei on sunday.

szeman, i probably can't make it on sunday. sorry.

vexed. stuck. helpless.
when faced with an incomprehensible essay.
the ideas are there but they just don't seem to fit.
the deadline looms closer despite my struggle for an entire day.
at this point in time, i hate myself for being the perfectionist that i am.
such that if i don't finish this essay in a satisfied manner, i will definitely not start studying for my stats test tomorrow.

oh crap, i so wanna bang my head on the wall right now.

sudden surge of tags.
but i'm really touched to see them.
thanks chin, szeman, jun and zhuang.

regarding the PMS thingy, i don't see it as so serious.
i just have to learn to keep my feelings in check.
so don't worry about it.

chin, i appreciate you being frank.
sometimes i feel that even though 208 is close, we are not entirely honest with each other.
and i admit that i'm one of those that wimp out.
anyway yes i know i'm being super irritating.
but i can't help feeling vexed with the amount of enquiry smses.

i promise i'll try to change.

my head's exploding at the amount of work this week.
much as i dread going out to work in the near future, i dread school just as much.
how can you possibly like school when you're not happy? when you're not exactly pursuing the things you want in life?
maybe such a mindset is selfish and idealistic.
but i can't stop myself from feeling this way.

*sighs
am i expecting too much?

october.
exams are looming closer.

i feel like a wretch these couple of days.
will not allow myself to compromise with the excuse of PMS.
but essentially, i let those ill feelings take over.
resulting in my purposeful negligence on eleanor's birthday.
and that poor girl didn't even do anything wrong.

really sorry girl.
i'd promised to celebrate your birthday this year and i broke it yet again.
and in my fit of anger, i had purposefully forgot to send a birthday sms.
thus, HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY my dearest eleanor.

possibly i rejoiced too soon.
i guess, afterall studying in advance is not my forte.
and it never will be.