B-U-S-Y.

yes, that spells my current status.
and i remain that until my exams are over.
but still, i can (and will) make time for family and friends.


given any situation as such, i will feel like i'm down in the slumps.
this week, however, provided a positive outlook.

for starters, i actually attempted studying in advance.
(i'm so proud of myself, i wanna give myself a huge pat.)

secondly, my JS project has finally taken off.
no more fretting. phew.

thirdly, i found a wondrous read in jane austen's pride and prejudice.
my initial skepticsm disappeared after the first 50 pages.
i never knew i could brave a classic and still love it.

i so love elizabeth bennet's character.
" . . . I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine."

Cirque Du Soleil presents QUIDAM.

the sight of the blue/yellow tents inspired my adrenalin rush.
yay, my first time watching a modern circus troop.
despite the huge amount of investment for the ticket (a whooping $122!), i'm glad i didn't regret it one bit.
though i feel i didn't fully enjoy the show because our location was slightly blocked by a pillar. the stage should have been better structured because the people in the centre would focus on the main act while the people on the sides were blocked by some structures.
to name a few, i enjoyed the diablos, the man in a huge hoop and the comedy act. but at the end of the day, i left feeling confused.

one thing i observed though, was the staggering number of caucasians in attendance.
they even brought their little children along. i bet they must have outnumbered the singaporeans.
which made me draw a conclusion that the arts appreciation culture in singapore is really not there yet. and we have to work much much harder.

HAPPY belated BIRTHAY, BECKY.


and HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONG XUAN!

i should give myself a hard whack.

why?
in short, i wasted my entire mid term break.
the only productive work for 4 days - 2 webcasts.
(what a shameless amount of work)

the weeks ahead are gonna be very busy.
and i knew it all along.

i'm truly a shithead.
i'm just someone who needs to learn the hard way.
over and over again.

who knows, maybe it ain't such a bad thing afterall.
for me to fare badly this time.
it'll serve as a good jolt back to reality.

watching honey&clover reminds me of what takemoto said in one earlier episode.

"sono toki boku wa, toutotsu dakedo shizuka ni minna de sugosu kurisumasu wa. kore ga saigo nano da to kanjita.
"at that moment, i abruptly realized that this was the last christmas that we'd get to spend quietly together.

soshite boku wa, mabataki wo kurikaesu.
and I keep blinking.

maru de.....shatta wo kiru you ni. kokoro no dokoka ni yakisukeba ii to.
like snapping the shutter of a camera, wishing to imprint this moment somewhere in my heart.

amai keeki no nioi to minna no warai koe no naka de."
admist the sweet scent of the cake and everyone's laughter."

and it never fails to make me sad.
i cannot imagine the day when everyone moves on and go their separate ways.
i know that will eventually happen but it's just the human nature to cling on to what you had.
perhaps the best thing to do is to treasure the time now.
so that when the parting comes, you'll be left with memories (be it good or bad).

"Does it hurt more
not knowing what you want,

or does it hurt more
knowing what you want and yet can't achieve it?"

i've uploaded my photos to webshots since stupid imagestation deleted my photos (without my permission, grr).
you can view them under digital memories.
just to let everyone know since i think hardly anyone notices the slight changes in the left hand menu.
i'll be uploading more photos later when i have the time.

i'm someone with short-lived passion.
you know like the chinese saying "san fen zhong re du"?
(loosely translated as 3-min passion)

i will get immensely crazy over some object of obsession for a while.
my passion dies off in a matter of weeks, months and a little over a few years.

i'm trying to prove myself wrong with the following:

swimming love >>> 7-8 months
jay love >>> 3 years.
piano love >>> 4 years.
japan love >>> 5-6 years.
egypt love >>> 6 years.

that is why i admire people with really strong ambitions.
and of course, people who already know their goal in life.
honestly because i'm someone who doesn't have one, that is why i find it so hard to study hard.
passive people always need a nudge to move a step forward.

which reminds me.
i need to go finish up my overdued deadlines... sighs.

i think i woke up from the wrong side of the bed.
plus that annoying bugger of an alarm clock didn't help matters.

i wanna yell at someone.

my desk's at its tidiest in weeks.
if after reading the above you'd think i've been a muggertoad, you better shoot yourself.
in ankh's dictionary, a messy desk = a lazy ankh.
so there you have it, i've been a slackertoad for weeks.

when you're irritable, you just want to blame it on anything that comes along.
the weather, PMS, my unsuspecting parents... the list goes on.
i think everyone hates me when i'm like that.
i ignore all forms of communication, do what i like on a whim, finds fault with absolutely anything.
my mum has to be the most patient person in the world to tolerate such atrocity.
that's why i love her so much.

to be honest, i don't know whether i hope to have a boyfriend.
with the overwhelming number of sappy, lovey-dovey tv shows and the shojo-lover that i am, i feel sad when the girls get swept off their feets by their mr perfect.
someone to whine to, a pillar of support, a physical companion.
but after being a witness of others' relationships, the truth is that it's not that simple.
plus i never want to become that possessive/demanding/clingy girlfriend. to always think about him, to must have him around all the time.
in that sense, i miss out on other also-very-important aspects of life. those that i used to treasure.
and in the end, would i regret?

gee.
i guess, to me a relationship would be like a birdcage.
i prefer to be a free-spirited bird for now.

to all who's sick, please go see a doctor if you have a fever.
because dengue fever isn't to be taken lightly and this is coming from someone who's experienced it before.

i'm being totally incoherent here. bah.

lack of updates due to cranky mood, yet again.

i will always love 208.
the people i love to spend time with. whom i'm never afraid to be myself with.

208 at marriot hotel on 05092005.

The Ferris Wheel

"[it was] created to slowly cut the skies with the person you love."

like takemoto, i used to think ferris wheels were a waste of time and money.
just a bulky and boring ride.
after his quote however, the ferris totally takes on a new meaning.

and that is why i love watching honey&clover sooo much.
for its poignant scenes like this.

i wish the world was simpler.
i wish i was simpler.

i wish i think like Christopher*.


4 yellow cars in a row = BLACK day
which equates to not doing anything so nothing bad will befall you.


4 red cars in a row = GOOD day
which means to be more pro-active because something good will happen.

if only each day could be measured in terms of good and bad.
if only, in my eyes, the world was so simple.

*he is a 15 year old autistic boy in mark haddon's the curious incident of the dog in night-time whose favourite colour is red and detests anything yellow.

20.
what does those numbers mean to you?

i always tell myself that birthdays are not special.
it's just another day of the year which happens to be the day you were born.
the world doesn't become better because of it.

but i am still bothered.
close to 00:00, i listen anticipatingly for message tones.
i still mind afterall.
i'm a big fucking liar.

today i told a white lie - i pretended to go to school.
now i feel so bad.
when mum nonchalently asked "how's your day?"
shit.

window-shopped with jun in bugis and suntec.
i'm really gonna miss this when school gets busier.

i'm gonna miss the quality time with mum&dad.
i'm gonna miss meeting up with my dearie girls.
i'm gonna miss snuggling up with a good read.
i'm gonna miss the carefree-ness.

i hate school.


junyang's guardian angel

new layout for september.
i have no idea why i'm doing a layout when i'm not exactly very free.
(now i gotta rush my homework.)
maybe because of my mood swings?

i was unexpectedly calm while watching Project Superstar today.
no more hard feelings. just a neutral fan.
only became excited seeing junyang and jj perform. << they can be twin brothers!
so it has come to an end.
Kelvin Tan Weilian is crowned the winner.
at this point, i shall not even try to deliberate why he won. i expected it.
congrats to him and all the other contestants.

time to move on.

"An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have.
The older she gets, the more interested he is in her."

- Agatha Christie

lol. that's really funny.
maybe i should take consolation in that if i don't become an archaeologist myself, i can get an archaeologist husband so 1) he would never be unfaithful 2) i can indulge in the experience at the same time.
now that's quite an ingenius idea :)

i used to doubt PMS.
whether it was just an excuse given by women to be nasty during that period of the week.
now i believe.

have been snapping at people recently.
throwing tantrums at my poor parents for no reason.
you guys better steer clear of me for the time being.