i know i'm not done clearing my backlog, which is accumulating even more as of now.
wishing i could just dump the notion of clearing my backlog aside but having some record of my past events seemed to be a neat idea.
especially when i feel that a lot of things happened during my last holidays.

but still, i hate clearing backlog.
some of you may think, what's so hard about clearing backlog?
but remember, i'm a perfectionist! so i MUST put up nice photos and pictures with as much detail as possible. that makes the task even more of a chore.

currently, i'm desperately trying to rush my datelines.
only have myself to blame for procastinating for the whole of last week.
birthday party's over (*a major phew*) and i've felt restless ever since.
we'll talk about the party another day though.

next week's gonna be the start of the nightmare week, with 4 practicals to boot.
practicals' ain't the killer, i actually enjoy them, but it's the lab reports.
so every fortnightly i have to rush out 4 lab reports, with assignments, projects, term papers and tests thrown in now and then.
i don't think i'll have much time to shake my leg during recess week.

thankfully i've been spending loads of time with mummy and daddy.
though i think the time with friends has been cut down drastically.
i was complaining to mum about some of my course mates. right now, i'm concentrating in biology alone since serene and angelyn are doing something else. the nus people should know that i'm not scared of reading modules by myself but now i realise that reading core modules alone can really make you feel lonely.
firstly majority of the people have cliques. second, it's hard to enter their cliques. third, some course mates whom you thought would be friendly to you doesn't behave like that.

it's a hard time. imagine doing a project with a group where you're the odd one out. and somehow they make things awkward for both me and themselves. sigh.
but i still stand by my belief that as long as i try, things will work out eventually.

on even weeks when i have only one lecture on 4 out of 5 days, i would have to bear the looks people give me for eating alone. maybe i'm being sensitive but i do feel that they're wondering, "how can someone bear the idea of eating alone in school? so poor thing, no friend is it?" ahhhh for god's sake, is it a crime to eat alone?
it's much easier, faster and convenient. why is everyone embarassed about this?
can anyone enlighten me if there is even an answer for this.

but at the end of the day, what matters is that i'm happy with the modules i'm taking.
i'm not gonna let silly things like having no friends or feeling lonely put a cloud over my choice. besides, i fought so hard to finally be able to read all these modules and the timetable is an endurance test for me.

if only i had done better in the previous semesters so that i can read honours.
still in quite a dilemma over that choice but i still need to improve my CAP by a HUGE margin before that option becomes available to me.

which reminds me, i better go finish my lab report.